Cockles and Mussels

Hi.

In my last post I called newsman Aron Bender ‘sweet and vulnerable.’ That’s totally true. But I forgot a few things. (What?! I’m sorry! I was having trouble adjusting to all this lame sunlight we get during Daylight Saving Time. Pfft. Sun. Who needs it?)

So Bender…(in addition to being sweet and vulnerable) you are a major, major stud.

If I actually knew you and I had like…a jar of Peppadew peppers that I couldn’t open, I would totally ask you to open it for me. This confident am I in your massive masculine strength.

Also, I’m sure you’ve made out in cars with tons of chicks. (Before you were married, OF COURSE.) You know how to work that – I’m sweet and vulnerable, ‘talk nerdy to me,’ but also super effing hot – vibe.

There you go. Makes the News Bender sound way sexier, right?

The world according to Aron Bender

No new post today?

Well…no. But it’s not like I don’t WANT to post something new. It’s just that…you know…I’m just letting yesterday’s post BREATHE.

P.S. How do we feel about the random all-caps words in sentences? I’m reading my boyfriend’s John Hodgman’s book, More Information Than You Require, and it’s a move he pulls. I think it’s rubbing off on me.