I’ve been listening exclusively to talk radio since I was 18 years old. Howard Stern; Mr. KFI/Mr. KABC/Marc Germain; TNT in the Morning; Phil Hendrie; April Winchell; Frosty, Heidi, and Frank; Conway and Whitman; Al Rantel; Bill Handel; John and Ken; Stephanie Miller; Tammy Bruce; Karel and Andrew; Bill Press; Joe Crummy; John Ziegler; Adam Carolla. I’ve listened to them all. I listened to Tim and Neil before Neil became Jesus Christ, and I kept listening after he did. I listened to Tom Leykis before he became a misogynist (or maybe he always was one?). I even listened to shows about cigars and gardening in the wee hours of Sunday morning. (By the way, I do no smoke cigars nor have I ever had a garden.)
When I lived in Coleville, CA (30 miles from any city and seriously lacking in radio stations) in the 1990s I persevered. I moved my little AM radio around my office trying to pick up any AM signal I could. (What was that super-powered AM radio Art Bell was always going on about?) Imagine the euphoria I felt when I finally picked up a station that carried G. Gordon Liddy and Dr. Toni Grant! Wait, what? This is what I was pursuing so doggedly? Well, never mind. They were talking – not playing country music – and I was happy.
When I lived in Oceanside, CA (blatantly outside the directional KABC signal and when Internet streaming sucked), in the early 2000s I faithfully logged on to hear Mr. KABC’s show every night. Sure, the thing “buffered” every 7.5 seconds but I put up with it. I’ve been in worse conditions – remember my stint with G. Gordon Liddy?
Blissfully in 2003 I moved back to Orange County where there was a wealth of talk radio stations: KFI, KLSX, KABC, KNX. I was spoiled. I moved around that dial all day long. There were not only AM talk stations but an FM talk station too! I quickly fell into a routine of Howard Stern/Bill Handel in the morning (remember I switched stations a lot); Frosty, Heidi and Frank/Dr. Laura mid-day (quite a contrast, as you may imagine); John and Ken drive time (no Tom Leykis for me, thank you); and my beloved Mr. KABC at night.
As it goes with most love affairs, my relationship with Mr. KABC came to an end. On February 12, 2007 I learned that his show had been canceled. I cried. For weeks I could not go to sleep. But in those weeks I found someone new – two new people actually. As I lay in bed pushing back those Mr. KABC tears, Conway and Whitman were making me laugh. I laughed out loud. In bed. Like a lunatic.
You would think by now I would have learned my lesson about growing attached to talk radio hosts. But of course I did not – see where this is going? First Brian Whitman left the Conway and Whitman show in 2008 and then KLSX the FM Talk Station (or 97.1 Free FM, whatever they were calling it) left the airwaves on February 20, 2009.
This time it’s different. Internet radio – Talk Radio One – the brainchild of Marc Germain (my Mr. KABC) is broadcasting. My favorite talk show hosts are podcasting. There are no commercials. Wait, how will I know which mattress to buy or which Web site I can use to cheat on my husband? How will I find out what lap-band recipients are up to? (I hope they’re buying new pants on the weekends and riding the scooters with their kids.) That’s OK, I will persevere like always.
I have a new iPod, iTunes and a subscription to the Conway and Whitman podcast (the best $5 a month I spend). Phil Hendrie – check. Frosty, Heidi and Frank – check. Marc Germain – check. Conway and Whitman – check.
I’m all set.
